I wish I’d never had my hysterectomy. What can I do about that?

It’s so important to come to terms with the emotional aspects of what you have gone through. For any woman, the uterus or womb is a powerful center of her identity and emotions and mind–body memories. Having a hysterectomy can be just matter-of-fact, or perhaps a great relief for women who were ready to say goodbye to whatever problems their uterus was causing.

For other women, the emotional aspects of hysterectomy can be very upsetting. The thought of surgery to this region of the body may bring up painful associations, especially for women who have experienced trauma such as a difficult childbirth or sexual abuse. These feelings need to be dealt with, even if resolution doesn’t occur until years afterward.

An enormous number of women have suppressed anger because of their hysterectomy. Many feel they were railroaded into the procedure without understanding their options or its consequences. They may feel they were lied to. Many are also mad at themselves.

We have found it helpful in these situations to focus on the fact that who you are today and who you were then are different. You might try writing a letter to your doctor and then burning it — make it a ceremony! If these efforts don’t truly resolve the leftover feelings, you should get counseling. It isn’t good for you to leave this unresolved.

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