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Menopause sex breakthrough — better sex in 4 steps

By Dr. Mary James, ND

Most of the women we talk to are relieved when we ask how their sex lives are going because many need help — and they want it fast. They know that a healthy sex drive is a sign that the body is in balance but many are not having much sex, and even worse, they aren’t even interested in it. Unfortunately this applies to all types of sex, with or without a partner.

Boosting low libido to have a menopause sex breakthrough

If low libido and/or physical symptoms have become major concerns for you — or for your partner, you can do something about it. Low sex drive, vaginal dryness, irritability and fatigue are symptoms of hormonal imbalance that can often be reversed with some simple — but crucial — natural steps .

If you want to recover your interest in sex, and coax your body into being more receptive to it, get started with these four steps.

1. Jumpstart your sex drive: address the physical. This is the most critical step for most women who would rather do just about anything other than have sex. Fluctuations in estrogen, progesterone and especially testosterone can cause low sex drive. This hormonal imbalance also causes vaginal dryness, moodiness, fatigue and irritability. Who wants to be intimate when she’s suffering from uncomfortable or stressful symptoms?

To put yourself back on track sexually, start by rebalancing your hormones with a plant-based product with passionflower, chasteberry, and wild yam. These have soothing properties similar to the hormone progesterone and can help to level your moods, reduce irritability and decrease sleep irregularities. Ashwagandha is also a secret herb. Ashwagandha influences testosterone production, making this aphrodisiac a crucial component to improving your sex drive. We know that hormonal balance is absolutely key to having a healthy libido so we formulated Herbal Equilibrium to contain all these powerful plants. Other specific ingredients can help increase sex drive or promote your body’s sexual response. These include the amino acid l-arginine, for sensation and responsiveness, along with muira puama for sexual vitality and eleuthero for endurance and stamina. We’ve included them all in our Arginelle formula.

2. Feel beautiful again: revitalize your body image. Magazines, TV and movies tell us that wearing skimpy lingerie and stiletto heels is what “sexy” is supposed to look like. But in truth, most men and women are attracted to people who are “turned on”, no matter what they look like or how old they are. Shifting your perspective about your body is a key factor in recovering a healthy appetite for sex.

This can start by making a commitment to figuring out what makes you feel sexy. This may be a new way of dressing, a new hobby or physical activity like dance classes or yoga, a new adventure, or something else entirely. You decide.

3. Who do you love: make intimate YOU time. Contrary to mainstream opinion, interest in sex may not always start with an attraction to a partner. Though having a partner can be great fun in the bedroom, alone time — leisurely exploring your body or masturbating, reading/watching erotica, or simply day dreaming — is essential for fueling a good sex drive. Erotica offers fresh ideas, imagery, and sexual and romantic fantasies that can wake up a part of you that you thought had gone to sleep for good.

Just look at how popular Fifty Shades of Grey is with women of all ages, many of whom are locking the bedroom door to read a chapter or two!

4. This is not a test: remember sex is play. Sex educator and bestselling author Barbara Carrellas says, “Sex is play… We get very hung up about what doesn’t work the way it used to work or what ‘the magazine’ said it was supposed to look like. There are an infinite number of erotic possibilities.” Sex incorporates way more than intercourse between a man and a woman. And by the time we reach menopause or perimenopause, fresh ideas are a great way to ignite your sex drive.

Here are some ideas: try erotic massage, spend time sharing fantasies with your partner (you might even try acting them out), sex in an unusual place. Barbara Carrellas talks about finding the right combination of safety and risk to turn you on without making you uncomfortable. You decide how close or far you go.

Every bit of time and emotional energy you spend on revitalizing your libido will pay off in your life and with your overall health. If you haven’t had sex in a long time, we promise you that with or without a partner, you’ll be happy you made recovering your libido a priority.

A healthy sex drive is a sign that your body is in balance. Libido is a life force in so many ways. Sex can improve cardiovascular health, sleep, and stress relief, while releasing natural pain killers and increasing your sense of wellbeing all at the same time. Not to mention the fact that sex helps you look great in menopause by creating a youthful glow to your appearance that no amount of makeup can achieve!

Start to increase libido in menopause by balancing your hormones and getting back in touch with what you really need to feel good every day. We’re here to help!

Last Updated: July 17, 2023
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